This is late; I’m sorry, but I'm trying something new… video and a post. You can watch, read, or both.
AlreadyLoved is ready for the preschooler or mom in your life.
The product exists. The app is live. People can actually use it.
And yet I keep finding things to improve.
A sentence could be clearer. A screen could look better. The experience could be smoother. There is always one more adjustment I can make before I put it in front of people.
Some of that is care.
But if I’m honest, some of it is hiding.
Improvement had become camouflage.
Because the real work now is not inside the product. The real work is walking into the marketplace and saying:
Here. I made this.
And that sentence feels strangely vulnerable.
Because the moment I share it, people can reject it.
They can ignore it.
They can decide I’m not interesting enough, articulate enough, polished enough, or credible enough to listen to.
So I have collected a million reasons not to begin.
I am not eloquent enough.
I am not cool-looking enough.
I am not good on camera.
I do not have the right studio.
I am not equipped for this.
A million little “I am nots.”
Which is almost funny, because the entire book is about identity.
I built something to help children know who they are, while quietly believing that I am not enough to tell anyone about it.
This week, I found myself thinking about Moses.
God appears to him and calls him to lead Israel. Moses immediately begins explaining why He has chosen the wrong person.
Who am I?
What if they don’t believe me?
I’m not a good speaker.
Moses keeps saying, “I am not.”
And God reveals Himself as “I AM.”
Moses keeps referencing his limitations.
God keeps referencing His presence.
That is what strikes me about the name God gives Moses: “I AM WHO I AM.”
God does not look outside Himself for a definition. He has no external reference point. He is the anchor beneath every other reality.
God says:
I am because I am.
But I am created. I am not self-defined.
So perhaps my confession is:
I am because He is.
An apple seed does not determine what it is by examining how much fruit it has produced.
Before the first apple appears, the seed already carries its identity.
Its origin tells you what it is.
But I keep looking at my output to determine my identity.
How well did I speak?
How many people responded?
Did the video look professional?
Did anyone download the app?
Was I impressive enough?
I turn fruit into identity.
And when the fruit does not look the way I hoped, I begin telling myself stories about who I am.
I am not gifted.
I am not capable.
I am not wanted.
I am not enough.
Those stories may feel true.
But feelings are not always reliable witnesses.
So I’m beginning to ask a different question:
Who told me that?
Who decided that I needed an impressive studio before I could speak about love?
Who said I needed to look cooler before I could tell children who they are?
Who said eloquence was the qualification for obedience?
It wasn’t God.
The Father’s word over Jesus was not based on an impressive public result.
Before the miracles, before the crowds, and before the cross, the Father said:
“You are my beloved Son. In you I am well pleased.”
Origin before output.
Beloved before achievement.
Identity before fruit.
That is the message at the centre of Already Loved.
And apparently, it is not just a message I am meant to teach.
It is one I need to believe.
I do not need to become impressive enough to share what I have made.
I do not need to eliminate every “I am not” before I obey.
Moses brought God his inadequacy.
God answered with His presence.
So perhaps this is my next step:
Not another adjustment.
Not another excuse disguised as excellence.
Just the courage to walk into the marketplace and say:
Here. I made this.
Not because I am everything I think I need to be.
But because I am because He is.
