Becoming is the HARDEST part.

It was 6:40am.
Coffee going cold.
Laptop open to the book app I’m building. Been building…

And instead of finishing it, I was tweaking fonts.

Again.

I’ve judged Israel before. Have you?

The promised land was right there.
Milk and honey.
And somehow they still wanted to go back to Egypt.

“Just cross over,” I’d think. “Why is this so hard?”

Now I understand.

I’m standing at my own Jordan.

This book.
Already Loved.
It’s almost out.

And yet I keep wandering.

I answer emails that don’t matter.
Tweak designs no one will notice.
Research tools I don’t need.

It looks like work.
It feels productive.
But it’s wilderness activity.

I started asking myself why.

Am I afraid it won’t work?
Afraid it will?
Do I secretly enjoy dreaming more than delivering?

Crossing over means something dies.

The version of me who talks about it.
The version who plans.
The version who can still say “almost.”

A caterpillar doesn’t get to brainstorm about wings.
It has to hang upside down in the dark and dissolve.

Becoming is violent.

It’s easier to stay who you were.
It’s safer to wander.

But the promised land isn’t about geography.

It’s about identity.

Israel didn’t just need new land.
They needed to stop thinking like slaves.

Maybe I do too.

I know the straight path.
Finish the book.
Ship it.
Let it bless who it’s meant to bless.

The resistance isn’t logistics.

It’s transformation.

And I can feel it.

I’m closer than I’ve ever been.

If you’ve ever found yourself wandering when breakthrough was a few steps away…

Maybe it’s not laziness.

Maybe it’s the cost of becoming.

I’m crossing.

See you on the other side.
See you next Friday. (with good news hopefully)